Couples Therapy in Lake Charles: What Really Happens in the Room?
You've been sitting in your car outside my office for five minutes. Or maybe you're on the couch at home, staring at the "schedule appointment" button on your phone. Your partner's probably doing the same thing somewhere else in the house.
You want things to get better. You just don't know what therapy actually looks like. Or if it'll even help.
That's fair. Most people picture sitting on a couch, crying, or watching some therapist take sides while you air your worst fights. Reality? It's more organized, less dramatic, and way more useful than you'd think.
If you're in Lake Charles or anywhere in Southwest Louisiana, you already know that life here adds its own stress. Hurricanes. Rebuilds. Plant schedules. Everyone knowing everyone's business at church or around town. Those things don't make relationships easier.
So let me walk you through what this actually looks like. From that first awkward session to the work you'll do week after week. No fluff. Just what happens when two people show up and try to fix what's broken.
Why Couples Come to Therapy
Most people don't call me because things are perfect. They call because something's not working anymore. And they don't know how to fix it on their own.
Here's what I hear most often:
"We can't talk without it turning into a fight." You try to bring something up. Within two minutes, someone's yelling or shutting down. Every conversation feels like walking through a minefield.
"We keep having the same argument over and over." You've had this fight a hundred times. The topic changes, but the pattern doesn't. One of you pushes, the other pulls away. Repeat.
"I don't know if I can trust them anymore." Maybe it was an affair. Maybe it was porn or some other sexual betrayal. Whatever it was, the trust is gone. And you don't know how to get it back.
"We're basically roommates." You live together. You handle schedules and bills. But there's no connection left. No closeness, no real conversation. Just two people living separate lives under the same roof.
And if you're in Southwest Louisiana, there's often another layer. The trauma from Laura, Delta, or one of the other 1000 year weather events... The stress of rebuilding while trying to keep your relationship together. The pressure of small town life where everyone knows your business. The plant schedules that keep you apart more than you're together.
All of that piles on top of the relationship pain you're already carrying.
Your First Session: What to Expect
That first session feels weird for most people. You're sitting in a room with a stranger. About to talk about things you probably haven't even been able to talk about with each other. It's uncomfortable. That's normal.
Here's how it usually goes.
I start by covering the basics. How sessions work. How often we'll meet. What confidentiality means. What my policies are. That takes maybe five minutes. Then we get into the real work.
I'll ask you both the same question: Why are you here?
Not "what's wrong with your partner." But what brought you to this point. What hurts most right now? What do you hope will change? I want to hear from both of you, separately, so I can understand what each of you is carrying.
After that, I'll ask about your relationship history. How did you meet? What were the good years like? When did things start to go downhill? I'm not looking for a full timeline. Just the key moments that shaped where you are now.
By the end of that first appointment, you'll have a clearer picture of what's going on. Not solutions yet. Just clarity. And that's enough for now.
Most people leave feeling a little lighter. Not because anything's fixed. But because someone finally helped them slow down and make sense of the mess.
How Sessions Actually Work Week to Week
After that first meeting, we move into the real work. This isn't about replaying your fights or deciding who's right. It's about figuring out the patterns that keep you stuck. And learning how to do things differently.
Early on, we focus on naming the patterns. Think of it like this: you're not having a hundred different fights. You're having the same fight a hundred different ways. My job is to help you see the pattern underneath it all.
Maybe one of you chases and the other runs away. Maybe you both blow up until someone storms out. Maybe you've gotten really good at avoiding conflict completely. Which just means everything builds up under the surface.
I might use simple questionnaires to understand your strengths and stuck points better. These aren't tests you can fail. They're just tools to give us a clearer map of where you are and where you need to go.
Once we've named the patterns, we start building new skills. This is where things get practical. We work on:
Slowing conversations down. Most fights blow up because things move too fast. You react before you think. I'll teach you how to pause, take turns, and actually hear what your partner is saying. Instead of just getting ready to defend yourself.
Speaking for yourself instead of blaming. "You never listen" turns into "I feel unheard when I try to talk about this." It sounds simple. But it changes everything.
Listening to understand, not to win. This is harder than it sounds. Most people listen just long enough to find the problem in what their partner's saying. So they can fire back. Real listening means setting that aside. And trying to get what they actually mean.
Using timeouts the right way. When things get too heated, you need a way to step back. Without just walking away from the conversation. I'll teach you how to take breaks that actually help. Instead of making things worse.
Making repair attempts. These are the small things that stop a fight from spiraling. A touch. A joke. An acknowledgment that you care even when you're frustrated. Most couples lose these over time. We bring them back.
Some sessions, we'll also work on reconnection. Friendship. Closeness. The stuff that made you fall in love in the first place. Because fixing how you talk doesn't mean much if you've lost the connection underneath it.
Depending on your situation, I might also schedule brief individual check-ins. Not secret sessions. Just a chance for each of you to talk through your own stuff. Your history, your fears, your patterns. Without worrying about how your partner will react.
What We Focus On Together
Every couple's different. But most of the work falls into a few main areas.
Communication breakdown. This is the big one. If you can't talk without it turning into a fight, nothing else improves. We'll work on slowing things down. Taking turns. Learning how to handle tough conversations without blowing up or shutting down.
Repeated unresolved fights. If you're stuck in a loop, replaying the same argument over and over, we need to figure out what's underneath it. Usually, it's not really about the dishes. Or the schedule. Or whoever forgot to pick up the kids. It's about feeling dismissed. Unimportant. Unseen. We deal with the real issue, not just the surface topic.
Betrayal and infidelity. Sexual betrayal is one of the hardest things a relationship can face. Whether it's an affair, pornography, or other compulsive sexual behaviors, the damage goes deep. Rebuilding trust takes time. It takes structure. And it takes a lot of honesty. I work with this a lot. So if betrayal is part of your story, we'll address it head-on.
Impact of sex addiction or compulsive behaviors. When one partner is dealing with sexual addiction, it affects everything. Trust, closeness, connection, safety. The work in this situation isn't just about fixing communication. It's about healing the wound that's been opened. And creating a foundation for real recovery.
Emotional disconnection. Maybe you're not fighting. Maybe you're just... distant. You handle the day-to-day stuff. But there's no real connection anymore. No closeness, no vulnerability, no friendship. You're roommates managing a household. That's fixable. But it takes intentional work to bring the closeness back.
Managing big stressors. If you're here in Southwest Louisiana or Southeast Texas, you know what it's like to carry stress that goes beyond your relationship. Hurricanes. Rebuilds. Jobs that demand too much. Plant shift work that keeps you apart. Plant layoffs. Parenting in a community where everyone knows everyone. All of that puts pressure on your connection. We'll work on handling those stressors together. Instead of letting them tear you apart.
In-Person and Online Options
I see people in person at my office here in Lake Charles. And I also work with couples online throughout Louisiana and Texas.
Online sessions work the same way in-person ones do. Same structure, same tools, same focus on real change. You're still sitting together (or in separate rooms if that works better). And we're still doing the work. The only difference is the screen.
For those nearby, in-person sessions give you a space away from home to focus. No distractions. No kids interrupting. No temptation to walk away when things get hard.
For couples outside the area, online sessions mean you don't have to drive an hour each way to get help. You can do this from your living room. Your office. Or wherever you have privacy and a decent internet connection.
Either way works. What matters is that you show up and do the work.
How to Know If You're Ready
Here's the thing: most couples wait too long. They wait until things are so broken that repair feels impossible. By the time they call, they've been stuck in the same painful patterns for years.
You don't have to wait until everything's falling apart.
You're ready if:
You're fighting more than you're connecting. And you don't know how to stop the cycle.
You've tried to fix things on your own. But nothing's working.
You want things to get better. Even if you're not sure they can.
You're willing to show up, be honest, and try something different.
You don't have to have it all figured out. You don't have to know exactly what's wrong or how to fix it. That's what this is for.
If you're ready to stop repeating the same painful patterns, let's talk. This works when both people are willing to show up and do the work. If that's you, reach out. We'll figure out the rest together.
