Why Your Pastor Isn’t Your Therapist (And That’s Actually Okay)
There’s something I keep seeing in my office.
Someone sits down and tells me they’ve been struggling with anxiety or depression for months, sometimes years. When I ask if they’ve talked to anyone about it, they say yes. Their pastor.
And that’s usually where it stopped.
I’m a licensed professional counselor, and I’m also a Christian. I work with people in Louisiana and Texas who are trying to figure out how to hold their faith and their mental health in the same hand. This isn’t about choosing one or the other. It’s about understanding what each one is actually designed to do.
Because honestly, a lot of people are getting hurt in the gap between the two.
I get why we go to our pastor first. The church feels safe. It’s where you learned to talk about hard things. It’s familiar. There’s a shared language. And if you’re already nervous about the whole therapy thing, walking into your pastor’s office feels a lot less intimidating than sitting in a waiting room with a stranger.
Pastors are often the first people we go to when life gets heavy. They listen. They care. They pray with us. And that matters. I’m not dismissing that.
But here’s the question I keep coming back to.
Are we asking pastors to do something they were never trained to do?
Pastoral care is vital. When it’s done well, it gives people grounding, meaning, and connection to something bigger than their immediate pain. Pastors are uniquely equipped for questions about faith and doubt, moral and spiritual decisions, grief and loss through a faith lens, spiritual direction, prayer, and community support.
Those aren’t small things. For a lot of people, that kind of care is deeply healing.
But was pastoral care ever meant to treat clinical depression? Trauma? Panic disorder?
I don’t think so.
Most pastors aren’t trained clinicians. They might get one counseling class in seminary. Maybe more. Maybe less. That doesn’t make them bad at what they do. It simply means they weren’t trained to assess trauma or understand how the nervous system responds to chronic stress.
The problem shows up when emotional pain gets interpreted only through a spiritual lens, even when something else is happening in the body and brain.
Depression becomes a faith problem.
Anxiety gets labeled as fear instead of a nervous system on overdrive.
Trauma gets framed as spiritual weakness.
And people don’t just stay stuck. They pick up shame along the way.
I’ve worked with people who spent years trying to pray their way out of symptoms they didn’t understand. They were told to try harder. To trust more. To examine their heart.
Instead of relief, they felt isolated. They assumed everyone else had their faith figured out. So they stopped talking about what they were experiencing because they didn’t want to sound weak.
By the time they came to therapy, we weren’t just dealing with anxiety or depression. We were also untangling the harm that came from being told their pain was a spiritual failure.
And I can’t help but wonder how many people are sitting in churches right now, quietly suffering, because they think needing help means their faith isn’t strong enough.
What Therapy Actually Does
Therapy isn’t about replacing faith. It’s addressing a different layer of the human experience.
Therapists are trained to assess emotional and psychological patterns. To understand trauma and how it lives in the body. To work with anxiety, depression, and relational wounds using approaches designed to help things actually change.
Therapy looks at how your experiences shaped you. How your body responds to stress. Why insight alone often isn’t enough to feel better.
As a Christian therapist, I don’t see this as separate from faith. I see it as complementary. God works through people, through process, and through healing that often happens slowly, not just in a single moment.
That’s the part a lot of churches still struggle with.
Pastoral care is meaningful. But there are moments when it isn’t enough on its own.
You might need clinical support if you’re having thoughts about hurting yourself, can’t function in daily life, anxiety or panic is disrupting work or relationships, you’re carrying unresolved trauma or abuse, symptoms won’t lift despite prayer and spiritual practices, or your body is physically responding to emotional stress.
If any of that resonates, seeking therapy isn’t a lack of faith. It’s wisdom.
The harder question is whether we actually believe that.
This is where people get stuck.
They worry that seeing a therapist means they’re stepping outside their faith. That it somehow diminishes God’s role in their healing.
It doesn’t.
Pastors and therapists serve different purposes. One offers spiritual guidance. The other provides clinical care. When they work together, people are often supported more fully.
A healthy church understands this. It normalizes mental health care. It refers out when needed. It doesn’t see therapy as a threat.
If Your Church Pushes Back
Some church environments still struggle with this conversation. If you’re in one of those spaces, here’s what I want you to hear clearly.
Your mental health is not a spiritual failure.
You don’t need permission to get help.
Your suffering doesn’t need theological approval to be real.
You can remain faithful and seek therapy. You can love God and care for your nervous system. You can hold prayer in one hand and professional support in the other.
If a community discourages that, it says more about their understanding of mental health than it does about your faith.
If you want to include your pastor in the process, keep it simple.
Something like, “I really appreciate your support and prayer. I also think I need additional help, and I’m looking into therapy.”
A pastor who understands their role will welcome that. Many already have referral lists and partnerships with therapists. If the response feels shaming or dismissive, that’s information worth paying attention to.
Not every therapist integrates faith, and not every client wants that. What matters is finding someone who respects what matters to you.
Look for someone who is licensed, experienced with what you’re dealing with, open to faith without forcing it into every session, and grounded in evidence-based practice.
Therapy should feel safe.
Not dismissive of your beliefs.
Not overly spiritualized either.
You Don’t Have to Choose
Your pastor can pray with you.
A therapist can help you heal patterns that prayer alone may not change.
Both roles matter. Both can coexist.
If you’ve been carrying something heavy on your own, or wondering why faith hasn’t made the pain disappear, it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
It may simply mean you’re human.
And you need support that addresses the whole of who you are.
You were never meant to do this alone.
This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute therapy or establish a therapist-client relationship.
